The Fresh Dozen

Worst Team

• Colorado
• Bears

Best Team Name

• D-Town Goblins
• Team Gus Edwards

Best Model

• Jmo's Thursday Night Football First TD
• My new one

Tallest Guy in the League

• Grant
• Owen
• Brennan
• Sam
• Zelm
• Nate
• Schneider on a really really good day

Business Idea of the Year

• Mine: movie theaters become hybrid chair stores by selling their seats

Bust of the Year

• Too early to tell

Show I'm Least Likely to Watch but Will See 100 Commercials for During a Game

• Krapopolis
• The Masked Singer
• Celebrity Name That Tune
• NCIS
• Ghosts
• Young Sheldon

Worst Fantasy Team Name That a Bleacher Report Follower Would Probably Find Really Funny

• Dakin' Off
• The Jimmy G Spot
• Tua Girls, One Kupp
• Jack Me Goff
• Fournettecators
• BJ Moore
• Big Dak Energy

Self-Diagnosis of the Year (Specific to Me)

• Sprained right index finger
• Cartilage loss in left knee
• Tight plantar fascia
• Magnesium deficiency

The Meanest Spread

A spread that a fan or player might see and feel bad about themselves, but Vegas was actually just trying to be mean.

• Iowa +10 vs Wisconsin

Least Favorite Media Trends

• Taylor Swift going to football games
• Deion Sanders taking things personally
• Shadeur Sanders showing his expensive after barely beating really bad teams
• The Roman Empire that lasted for a week
• Kevin James meme

Team of the Year

• Lions (Super Bowl champs)
• Cardinals (for their effort)
• Penn State (Iowa's only loss and likely CFB champ according to my model — Model of the Year nominee)